Self-Esteem Therapy
Is A Critical Inner Voice Impacting Your Quality Of Life?
Do you grapple with daily anxiety, perfectionism, and self-doubt?
Is the voice in your head a predominantly negative and self-critical one?
Do you tend to compare yourself to others, often feeling unfavorably about your abilities and accomplishments?
Has a lack of confidence begun to affect your work/academic performance, relationships, and day-to-day life?
Perhaps it feels like your self-esteem and wellbeing are at this disposal of others, largely dependent on your fears around making a bad impression or being negatively perceived. It’s possible that external circumstances—i.e., other peoples’ behaviors—have a way of completely shifting your mood, causing you to often feel insecure and on edge. Maybe you don’t feel confident in yourself and your decisions, leading to procrastination and feelings of unworthiness.
Naturally, this sense of insecurity and self-doubt impacts your closest relationships. You might rely on others for a sense of validation or reassurance, usually unable to get it from yourself. Yet, despite wanting affirmation, you may struggle to maintain or initiate relationships, whether you experience social anxiety and/or don’t feel safe enough to become close and intimate.
True security comes from within, so as long as you prioritize approval from others over your self-worth, the cycle of anxiety, perfectionism, and inadequacy is likely to continue. Fortunately, therapy offers a way to cultivate awareness and understanding as you build your self-esteem and empower your strengths.
Comparing Ourselves To Others Is Normal, But It Can Quickly Spiral Out Of Control
Do you ever find that even when you’re relaxed, your mind tends to drift to a place of comparison and self-criticism? This is not necessarily because something is “wrong” internally but rather because, as studies have shown, the brain’s default mode network relies on comparison as an adaptive trait. In other words, our brains find it imperative to our survival to understand how we measure up against others.
Yet, in a society that is not only hyper-individualized but also deeply engaged in social media, the drive to compare becomes toxic rather quickly. When we think we have an understanding of others’ internal motivations and experiences based on the image they portray on the internet, it’s easy to place them on a pedestal while simultaneously creating a loop of self-criticism that tells us all the ways we should be better.
If you’re stuck in a cycle of low self-esteem, it can be difficult to find your way out without the professional guidance of a therapist. Because there is no one meaningfully challenging your negative inner voice, it’s dictating the narrative of your life. In counseling, you can feel supported and empowered to discover what you really want so that you can initiate the process of making decisions that align with your true goals and values.
Therapy For Self-Esteem Through Jay Counseling, LLC
Sometimes, people hear the word “therapy” and assume that some huge life transition or trauma has to occur to warrant professional support. However, therapy is available to any client suffering from anxiety, perfectionism, and low self-esteem, regardless of what triggered the symptoms or how long they’ve been present. These negative self-beliefs originated somewhere, and through our work together, we will figure out how to transform them at the source.
What To Expect
All sessions through Jay Counseling, LLC are done online, and therapy will be individualized to your needs and goals as they pertain to building your self-esteem.
Normally, this process starts with a basic intake to understand what you’re struggling with and address any concerns you have about therapy. Throughout the beginning of treatment, we will get to know your inner voice and how self-talk is impacting your self-worth and decision-making process. We will also explore how certain contributing factors—including upbringing, relationship patterns, and environment—have reinforced a negative self-perception.
From there, we will work to implement more positive, realistic, and self-compassionate perspectives. We do this by incorporating the following approaches:
Mindfulness skills – help you become present and aware, as opposed to spiraling about the future, so that you can take a more calm, grounded approach
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – identifies the relationship between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and how those factors are impacting your self-esteem
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) – teaches you skills for expanding your tolerance for distress, challenging negative self-talk, and increasing your interpersonal effectiveness to have healthier, more affirming relationships.
Belief “maps” – create a network of your core beliefs to better understand how they are influencing one another and creating unhealthy patterns
A more positive, balanced, and realistic self-understanding is possible! Even if that negative inner voice has been present for as long as you can remember, there are ways to understand what it’s really saying and quiet it down. Through counseling, you can begin to initiate new skills and perspectives that will ultimately aid in strengthening your relationships, clarifying your values, and building your self-esteem.
Common Concerns About Therapy For Self-Esteem…
I’ve struggled with poor self-esteem for years—therapy won’t make a difference.
The prospect of opening up about some of our deepest fears and vulnerabilities is a scary one, and it may feel like the only world we’re comfortable in is a world where our negative inner voice is running the show.
That said, I want you to consider the possibility that such hurdles can be addressed with the right support. Working together, we will peel back the layers of your negative self-beliefs—all the way to their foundations—so that you can begin to identify when you’re entering a negative cycle as you gradually work towards a more affirming self-perception. This process works, and I’ve watched many clients transform their relationships with themselves through self-esteem counseling.
My lack of self-esteem stems from an experience in childhood, but I don’t want to spend all of therapy talking badly about my parents.
No matter what brings you to therapy, discussions about your childhood and upbringing are usually a big part of the intake process. After all, for better or for worse, your parents’ attachment style(s) had an impact on your self-esteem. In the therapy space, we will approach these issues gently while also acknowledging the realities of the situation.
My goal as a therapist is not to point fingers at your parents for the role they played in your negative self-talk or low self-esteem, but rather to help you see how much our early attachments shape our self-understanding—often well into adulthood.
My critical inner voice is what keeps me in line; I don’t want to lose it.
It’s possible that, at times, your high standards for yourself have propelled you to be successful and reach your goals. However, if you were to zoom out (with the help of a therapist), I think you would see that while self-criticism can be motivating, it’s probably led to a lack of fulfillment in just about every area of your life.
Maintaining motivation and forward-moving momentum is essential, but therapy for self-esteem will help you achieve those things in ways that don’t ultimately damage your mental health and wellbeing.
Upgrade Your Inner Voice
If a sense of low self-esteem is keeping you from feeling confident and enjoying life, online therapy through Jay Counseling, LLC can help you adjust your mindset. For more information or to schedule a session, contact me.
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